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By Vicki Sternfeld-Rossi
The Times 

"It's a Man's World" in this song and in life

 

February 10, 2022



While some people study great philosophers like Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato, my current frame of reference are more Broadway Musicals and popular songs. Lerner & Lowe’s clever lyrics, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” from their show My Fair Lady have been playing through my head daily. Just reversing the genders.

The song laments that women are temperamental, flighty, vain, and generally self-centered spoiled creatures, unlike men who have none of those pesky traits. Well, wake up guys, the world has changed, “We are Women Watch us Roar” (to borrow from another song). Yes, we can handle a drill (thank you, Eric), carry heavy boxes, dig holes and be CEOs of publicly traded companies.

However, just because we can do the heavy work doesn’t mean we always want to. I am ok with doors being opened for me, and I will open a door for a man, without pause. Just because I can lift my heavy luggage doesn’t mean I won’t accept help lifting it into the overhead compartment in the airplane. And I admit it’s a little heady when a man stands up for me when I enter a room or leave the dinner table.

As teenagers, my sister and I tried to teach my brother to pull out chairs for us, and maybe even help with taking off or putting on our coats. It was futile. Also pointless was our attempt to teach him to open the car door for us. Had we waited for him to open the door we would’ve been left standing out in the rain for hours. Eventually, my father taught my brother manners. Although he may not have used them on his lowly sisters, we can be sure he did on his girlfriends; he had plenty.

Manners, however important, can often pale in comparison to small gestures. My father was relentless about knowing we were safe. We didn’t have curfews, but if we told him we’d be home around 9:00, by 9:05 he was pacing as he waited for us, with “why didn’t you call, we were worried?”

However, when he was on a job site one evening and was three hours late, my distraught mother called the police. When he came home to see the patrol car in our driveway, he flew into the house frantic to know what happened. All I remember is the policeman slinking out of our house, knowing that he couldn’t chastise my father as badly as my mother was about to.

And by the way, some other things to consider, sort of the epitome of small gestures:

Don’t leave the last square of toilet paper on the roll, just so you don’t have to replace it. It’s not that difficult to change the roll.

Thank you for clearing your plate, dishes, glasses from wherever they have most recently been left. But, if you can put them into the kitchen sink, it’s only a quick twist of your body to go from the sink to the dishwasher.

Leaving only one tablespoon of milk in the carton is not useful. Does that alleviate the hard work of putting the carton in the trash?

I think the last week or so of this gloomy weather has dampened my usual good nature. Right now, my favorite song list is anything by the Beach Boys. Surf, sand, and sun may be the cure for my current whiny tantrum. Success! It worked, today the sun is out, and I already feel like singing a happy song! Maybe if I start with “You’re in the Money” I’ll bring on lottery success.

 

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