the Times 

How the pandemic may affect intimate partner violence; and help in times of uncertainty

 

April 16, 2020

Courtesy photo

Left: Anne-Marie Zell Schwerin, YWCA Walla Walla Executive Director. Right: Mary Byrd, YWCA Directory of Client Services

The National Domestic Violence Hotline's website provides a list of ways that the virus could uniquely affect intimate partner violence survivors:

Abusive partners may withhold necessary items, such as hand sanitizer or disinfectants.

Abusive partners may share misinformation about the pandemic to control or frighten survivors, or to prevent them from seeking appropriate medical attention if they have symptoms.

Abusive partners may withhold insurance cards, threaten to cancel insurance, or prevent survivors from seeking medical attention if they need it.

Travel restrictions may impact a survivor's escape or safety plan – it may not be safe for them to use public transportation or to fly.

An abusive partner may feel more justified and escalate their isolation tactics.

If you or someone you care about is experiencing violence or abuse, YWCA Walla Walla shares these suggestions for survivors that may make this uncertain time feel a little bit safer:

1.      Create a safety plan.

"Every safety plan is unique because no two relationships are the same," said Byrd. Some people want to remain as safe as possible while staying in the relationship. Others want to plan an escape or need help planning how to stay safe after they leave. YWCA advocates can help create safety plans by phone, Byrd said, with anyone who is concerned about their own safety or the safety of someone else.

2.      Take good care of yourself.

This is a time of uncertainty for everyone and experiencing abuse from a controlling partner will only make it harder. Don't neglect practices like your exercise routine or healthy eating, that can help your mood and ability to cope. Take to heart the advice about regular hand washing, not touching your face, and steering clear of frequently touched surfaces. The last thing you need is a nasty illness.

3.      Reach out for help.

While physical isolation is a good tactic for slowing the spread of the COVID-19 virus, isolation is also a tool that abusers often use to increase their power and control over a partner. As much as possible, maintain your ties with supportive friends and family members through phone calls, letters, and email.

In addition, consider reaching out to someone who is trained in safety planning and understands the dynamics of an abusive relationship. YWCA advocates can help you understand that no one deserves abuse and that financial troubles, health worries, and other stressors are no excuse for abuse. Calling is free and confidential, and calling to discuss your situation does not obligate you to any specific course of action.

"We are taking COVID-19 very seriously in the shelter," said Byrd, "and developing procedures to keep the shelter disinfected and virus-free. No virus, and no amount of stress and frustration, are excuses for violence or abuse."

Limited office hours: The YWCA office phone, (509) 525-2570, is answered from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Only essential staff and residents are admitted to the YWCA office, and a health screening check is required.

24/7 Crisis Help: During the COVID-19 shutdown the Crisis Line, (509) 529-9922, continues to be answered around the clock by trained advocates. If you are concerned about a friend or family member, advocates can give you pointers about how to help from a distance. The YWCA shelter remains open.

 

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