An Update From Emma

Hey there, everyone!

I’m sorry I haven’t been updating you guys more frequently, but that’s mainly because nothing much has happened. Life is still pretty much the same – pointless craft projects, it-never-rains-but-it-pours dispensing of homework assignments, lame attempts at creative writing, and not enough sleep.

I am currently in mourning for my 4.0 GPA (November 5, 2009 – December 29, 2015 – rest in peace, old buddy). I received a B in Continuing Hispanic Culture, a 300-level discussion-based class about Hispanic literature taught entirely in Spanish, and as Bs are wont, it stung. This tragic development is offset by the fact that I have the greatest roommate in the history of roommates, Esther Ra, a fellow creative writer and musician who insists on sharing her care packages with me. But other than that, Whitman hasn’t provided me with much update-column fodder.

So, you may ask, why am I writing?

Well, what’s the only thing in history any college student has ever written home for?

We’ll get to that later.

First, though, I’m going to level with you about a completely uncharacteristic decision I made a month or so ago – something that nobody who knew me back in Waitsburg would ever expect me to do – something that even my friends at Whitman were shocked by when they found out – something that has irrevocably changed the way I see myself – a deed born of financial desperation and the foolhardy spirit of youth.

I entered a beauty pageant.

That’s right. Emma Can’t-Get-A-Date-And-Doesn’t-Know-Which-End-Of-The-Powder-Puff-Is-Up Philbrook is vying for the title of Miss East Cascades, a preliminary to the Miss Washington and Miss America competitions. I entered partially for the scholarships (which are pretty generous), partially as motivation to exercise and brush my teeth, and, yes, partially for an excuse to wear fancy dresses and sparkly jewelry, but the primary draw was the huge amount of good that the Miss America organization does in the community.

Each contestant picks a “platform” (mine is mental health), and if she wins, she uses her position to raise money and awareness for that issue. Those of you who know me know that I can’t resist a good philanthropic opportunity, and so as soon as I found out about this aspect of the pageant, I couldn’t sign up fast enough. And to top it all off, all the pageant people I’ve met are fantastic, willing to bend over backwards to make sure I have the best experience possible. It’s been so much fun!

Back to the community service for a bit, though: Every contestant is required to raise money for the Children’s Miracle Network, a really awesome charity that supports local children’s hospitals. They do a lot of incredible work in this area and I’d really appreciate if you helped me raise some money on their behalf. If you want to donate (or learn more), check out http://missamericaforkids.org/Donate/emmaphilbrook. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it.

Those of you who spend time on the “Interwebs” and enjoy seeing awkward pictures of me in formalwear and/or my lame attempts at pageant humor should take a peek at the “Emma Philbrook for Miss East Cascades 2016” page on Facebook, if only to convince yourself that I’m not making all this up.

Let’s see. I asked you for money, elicited a “she did WHAT!”, bragged about my roomie, griped about my classes – am I forgetting something in this letter home? Oh yes, a horrible joke that I overheard in the dining hall:

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

That’s about it.