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By Vicki Sternfeld-Rossi
The Times 

Manners in a pandemic

 

November 5, 2020



Once again, I say “thank you” to the parents of Waitsburg. Your children made Halloween a much-needed fun evening during these challenging times. The kids were cute and always said, “thank you” for their treats. Even some of the younger ones didn’t require additional prompting from their parents. I apologize in advance for filling their bags with more candy than usual, and your upcoming struggles with the inevitable day-after sugar rush, and your future dental bills. I thought since they didn’t have the best year, they might find more candy a slight compensation, because I know I do.

Last Halloween was brutally cold, so thank you, Mother Nature, this year seemed downright balmy. And, with the weather still cooperating, I can continue to play and get totally humiliated on the tennis court by a Whitman’s Men’s tennis team player. The other day while playing, I ran to hit the ball, which I am sure would have been the winning shot when my college team coach yelled to me to “rip it down the line!”


First of all, my ripping the ball is fantasy at best, although hitting it reasonably fast and hard is within the realm of possibility. This time I whiffed it with all the grace of an elephant. When asked what happened, I said, “it’s my mother’s brainwashing!” She taught me always to look someone in the eye when you are speaking or spoken to. So, when he shouted at me to “rip the shot,” I dutifully looked right at him, and the ball went flying past me.

My mother was an exceptional lady. She was diligent in her quest to teach us manners, to respect everyone, be kind, tolerant, and forgive others. However, she wasn’t an aspiring athlete! My tennis coach, being a competitor since he was about 5, has developed an instinct about manners and sportsmanship. When competing, it’s sportsmanship that counts more than manners. It is important to ignore what is happening around you and focus on the ball and the court. Don’t let distractions prevent you from focusing on the win! A difficult lesson for me, because I am very easily distracted (nosy?).


The “holidays” are imminent. We typically would be planning on hosting or attending big family and friend dinners, but by no means has this been even close to a typical year; COVID-19 has changed everything. This Thanksgiving, there is a good chance Daniel and I will be sitting in front of different TVs, me watching a rerun of the Macy’s Day Parade, and him watching The Mandalorian. Dinner manners, for sure, will slide, although I hope not too far. Maybe our good behavior will just be to keep the sound low enough on our respective shows, not to bother the other person.


Today, manners include wearing a mask, a good health practice for you and your neighbors. I have noticed that when people speak to each other through masks, they seem to look at each other in the eye more. There may be other hidden benefits for this eye to eye contact while mask-wearing, besides health; for example, hidden behind a mask, you don’t know if someone is smiling or smirking at you. It’s easy to say something derogatory under your breath without the other person hearing it. If you are at someone’s home or a restaurant, it can become tiresome to take the mask on and off to eat. Maybe, that will result in eating less. Nah, not during the holidays. Just consider taking your mask on and off as exercise and enjoy your holiday meals, alone or in small gatherings, preferably.

 

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