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By Emma Philbrook
The Times 

Happy June, Everybody?

 


It’s June, everybody?

Whoops, did I accidentally put a question mark there? Sorry. Let me try that again.

It’s June, everybody!

Much better, right?

Although, come to think of it, maybe the question mark is appropriate, because as I write this the sky is choked with gray clouds and I still have doubts about being ready to graduate. Both of these were supposed to clear away by the end of May.

It’s June, everybody?

On second thought, my kitchen is encrusted with flour from the ten gazillion batches of cupcakes I’ve been cranking out for my upcoming graduation party and my typing surface is cluttered with homemade kraft-paper placemats, so the party’s a go, which means it’s probably June. Or something fairly close to June.

I’m also blowing my nose quite a bit, which means that the mysterious substance I’m allergic to has taken to the air, which usually doesn’t happen until – you guessed it – June.

So, yeah, it’s June. Happy June, everybody?

Oops, did I accidentally put a question mark there? Man, I’m sleepier than I thought! Do-overs:

Happy June, everybody!

Again, however, I’m wondering if the question mark wasn’t more appropriate. After all, once June kicks in, parked cars turn into flaming torture chambers in the space of a single trip to the grocery store, and an entire legion of school-aged children is unleashed upon the populace come the end of school.

Y’know what? I think I could save a lot of space if I just ended all of my exclamations with periods.

Happy June, everybody.

Also, I can’t believe I’m graduating on Friday. It still feels really weird, but I’m proud of myself and my classmates for making it. Go Class of 2015.

Oh no. I just remembered that I have to make a Danish for the class potluck on the night of Baccalaureate. How will I ever find the time. This is an utter calamity.

Aiiiieeeeeeee. Bad cat. Bad cat. Why did you have to sleep on my graduation dress. Your fur is white and the dress is black and you’re shedding. How inconsiderate can you get. Where’s the lint roller.

This isn’t working out very well, is it.

Okay, time to compensate!

I guess it’s not a problem, though, because I’ll be wearing a gown over the dress anyway! You’re no longer in trouble, cat! Could you bake my Danish for me! Why not! No opposable digits, you say! Why is that a problem!

Oh, did that need question marks?

Bummer.

Uh…Happy June, everybody?

 

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