The Times - Serving Waitsburg, Dayton and the Touchet Valley

I just love Christmas. The whole season is so warm and cheery and beautiful, and even the air seems to glisten with a -

"We interrupt your childhood to bring you a reality check. Young lady, you have two essays to finish for next week, a publication deadline tonight, a litter box to scoop out, and optional-but-strongly-recommended "sleep" to schedule. Be advised."

All right.

(*cough, Scrooge, cough*)

Essay.

Right.

The prompt is "Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities and explain its significance in your life."

Okay.

Hmm. I've already written an essay on Girls State, which was a very profound experience. I'll go from there.

"Evergreen Girls State and Me", by Emma Philbrook.

Evergreen. Hey! Like a Christmas tree! Maybe I can get something out of that!

"Evergreen Girls State was to me like a pine tree, glistening with the first snow and hung with dainty pinecones enameled by ice."

A pine tree. How can I tie a pine tree to character development? And where does the snow come in? Not to mention the pine coneshellip;

Oh! I have an idea! "We have lived our lives as the seeds of those pinecones, crammed among our peers and stuck in the shadows of those above us. But in the glory of winter, as sparkling reflected light envelops us, we realize for the first time who we are and what we can become. We learn that we will someday be able to stand tall, to shelter birds in our branches, to purify the air, and to guide our own seeds into the world."

"We interrupt this essay to bring you a reality check. This is the most ridiculous analogy conceivable. You seriously think that THIS will get you a scholarship?"

Well, do you have any better ideas?

"Is it possible to have a worse idea than comparing a mock government camp to pinecones?"

Fine! I'm clicking the backspace key. Are you happy?

Huh?

Waithellip;there's something outsidehellip;

Snow! Hey, everybody, it's snowing! Oh, it's so pretty! My goodness, how gorgeous! It's piling up on the branches! It's dusting the pine trees!

"We interrupt-"

Shush! It's snowing!

"Buthellip;buthellip;buthellip;"

"Uhhhellip;"

"Oh well."

"We now return to your regularly scheduled childhood, already in progress."